Time Travel & The Game of Life

Because sometimes you just need a good chuckle…

It looks as though the ThetaDiva herself, Vianna Stibal, has finally figured out how to go back in time. Perhaps she tracked down the Back to the Future DeLorean, or maybe one of her minions built her a super stealthy Theta Squad car. One thing is for certain, though- when you claim to heal cancer in an instant (and everything else for that matter, including a car…) then jumping to the instant (no pun intended) conclusion that the following is a misprint isn’t a normal first thought. These guys actually believe in teleporting, regrowing limbs and changing genetic defects. And now, they are apparently holding seminars in 1970.

Take a ThetaHealing Class Now! in 1970?

Learn How to “Get Excited”, through a New ThetaHealing Elective!

There’s also a new super exciting class to be announced on here, friends. I’m not just here to make fun of the still-ridiculous world-wide-ThetaHealing masterful website that, even with all of the $$$$ floating around in Vianna’s wallet, still has no skilled hands assuring ongoing professionalism. Wait a minute, though… don’t hold your breath. It’s really not nearly as exciting! as it may seem, much to the dismay of the course description. It’s called “The Game of Life.” Aaaand, here we go.

This "Game of Life" is More Realistic

No, not that Game of Life. Although the little pink or blue ‘people’ pegs have just about as much brain power as it takes to come up with a class like this.

And yes, as mentioned above, it’s declared as an “elective”, because apparently the rest of the Theta courses are mandatory wastes of money…

But, because there is never any real information involved in descriptions of old or new classes, we’re supposed to use our imaginations. And golly goodness, this one really has me worked up! In this fantastic 3 day course, how will there ever be enough time to learn all of these brand new techniques?!

• Belief Work – Practical Approach: So, I’m confused. (Are you surprised?) Belief Work is one of the basic tenants of Theta religious/cultic education. But here we are, 15 years after the formation of ThetaHealing… still learning a “Practical Approach”.
• Free yourself from parent obligations: I’m once again confused. Vianna has 3 adult children- Josh, Bobbi and Brandy, who are attached to her hip and wouldn’t leave her, well, ever. The relationship of Vianna with her kids is about as strangely dependent as possible. How could someone in this kind of ultra, ridiculously needy parent role successfully to teach others to free themselves from their parents? Wait! Vianna used to complain endlessly that she had to pay for her mom to live. She wrote in at least one ThetaHealing book about how abusive her mom was, and has spoken endlessly that she used to be forced to attend church as a child. (Gee, what a bad mom she had!) I’m getting a clearer picture now. Vianna wants to free herself from parental obligations as her own mother ages- but her children are forbidden to free themselves from her. If Vianna’s kids took off, she would be without office staff and generally without people to answer her calls at all hours of the night, run her errands, cover for her when she needs to have surgery or go visit her jailed step-son… Oh, wait! Maybe I am reading into this the wrong way. Another way of reading into the words “Free yourself from parent obligations” is to ditch your kids! In that respect, Vianna’s oldest and only son, Josh, is well learned! Having abandoned all 6 of his children, he has definitely succesfully freed himself from parental obligations. In a nutshell, the principles of ThetaHealing work if you adjust them enough to fit (Vianna’s family) situations as needed.
• Release Traumas: All these years later, and I’m still wondering how they think this is possible without any sort of real training. But undertaking the impossible always has been ThetaHealing’s way. After all, what if they really figured it out (sans ANY type of education) how to release real trauma… for ONLY a couple hundred U.S. dollars… and my lack of faith or knowledge that Vianna is basically a walking/talking “FAKE” sign is just getting in my way? What if… hmm… what if… ThetaHealing just wouldn’t be ThetaHealing if they didn’t toss in stuff like this to add to the “What If” factor.
• Get accepted by society: Oh dear. No they didn’t… did they? Grab a handful of grapes as I show you the train of thought of the mastermind behind this one. Ahem. ”Hey guys, I’ve invented a new class called The Game of Life. What should we teach? I know! How to get accepted by society! This way we can cater to, well, everyone in the world who has ever, at any time, felt as if they just weren’t accepted for who they are! How will we teach this, you ask? Noooo, that’s not the problem. I have that covered. We’ll just sit the class down and say, ‘Time for Downloads! Everyone close your eyes and follow along. Do you want to know what it feels like to be accepted by society? If so, then say “yes” out loud. **wait for class to say ‘yes’… pause for a moment… roll eyes around eye sockets for a moment to make it appear that something magical is happening within… open eyes and say, “There you go!”** Yes, that’s it. The only problem is to find out just how much we can charge for such a crucial Download…’ Moving on.
• Handle peer pressure: Follow same formula as above, replacing ‘do you want to know what it feels like to be accepted by society with do you want to know how to handle peer pressure with grace and ease?’. This is almost too easy, friends.
• Receive infinite abundance: Alright. I’m going to approach this with just a touch of serious-ness. Come on. Please, for the love of all things small and furry, please… please, please, please… PLEASE realize that there is NO way that you will ever find the way to receive infinite abundance from Vianna. Seriously. There is nothing abundant about this first family of theta- the founder of a company that supposedly heals cancer instantly, and who has “infinite abundance”. And let’s be honest here. I know I will have a few people who try to claim that perhaps Vianna’s perception of “abundance” is family! Well, that’s sweet, but it’s not realistic, and it’s not what drives Vianna. Vianna doesn’t have 6 of her 10 grandkids around her. (And those 6 have been denied thousands of dollars in child support) She was out of the country when her son got married to his 4th wife. Her followers are more deserving of the term “family”. She has a “Manifesting and Abundance” class. Do you think people are looking to use that class to build an abundance of family? Be realistic here. Look at the following 3 pictures they posted of last year’s Thanksgiving “Feast”. Does this look like someone who is happy, healthy and “abundant”? No. It doesn’t. They don’t know how to live it and they certainly don’t know how to teach it. (Although, they do look like their caloric intake is quite abundant. Just being honest here.)

Abundance at Thanksgiving... look at all those (Idaho) potatoes! How abundant!

"Abundance" in a small, messy, outdated kitchen. And they all look so happy... or something...

And the Thanksgiving feast is complete... look at all that meat (I think I see meat there somewhere), and that very expensive pepper shaker (not even a basic pepper grinder?), and soda and some sort of wine-ish beverage, but oh- look at those nicely folded napkins! Abundance? Uh, no, not so much.

• Grow your business as you wish: Well, this is one is tricky. They do seem to be growing. The business is based upon conning the general population, but I suppose they are growing. So, maybe they can teach you how to grow… in ThetaHealing. I’d like to see them teach the rest of the world, and all their thousands of other businesses how to grow, though. If you can’t teach desperate people how to close their eyes and think that saying “yes” will suddenly create for them all the happiness in the world, somehow I doubt that you’ll ever get another normal, human business to expand and grow. I could be wrong. Except that I’m not.
• Get ready to succeed, and get excited!: I had no choice but to group these together. I’m simply astounded that a group that claims to teach worldwide healing has course concepts like “Get ready to succeed!” and “get excited!” I have nothing to add here. No wait, I do. Are they serious? This is in the actual course outline??
• Visioning and Manifestation: Pardon me while I take a few deep breaths… I apologize. I’ve just got little reasoning to add when visioning and manifestation is being covered in a class called “The Game of Life”. I can envision making it to the end of the game board in the actual game of Life, but unfortunately the concepts taught in ThetaHealing are a lot more blatantely strange and non-factual.

Who Actually Came Up with this New Class?

If you look at the description for the course, you’ll see that Hiro Miyazaki is the co-teacher of this class. You may or may not recall a former post of mine called “Heaven’s Gate versus ThetaHealing” In that post, I added some quotes from both Heaven’s Gate cult members as well as ThetaHealing cult members. One of those members was Hiro- I didn’t add his name at the time, but this was his quote about ThetaHealing.

“What I got… is profound, tremendous. What I’m gonna use that for is to teleport; hopefully I could teleport really soon.” Thetahealing™ Member

Hmmmmm. So, this really super wonderful, magically mind-shifting class called “The Game of Life” is co-created by the same person whose purpose for using ThetaHealing is to teleport. Excellent. Clearly the origin of this class is reality based…

And what did Vianna have to say about the class?

“Th teaches you um, health and how to get better, how to get stronger, how to increase your mind, how to increase abundance. So really, ThetaHealing is not just a healing modality it’s a way of life. And so Hiro, knowing it’s a way of life, kinda created something that would fit into all the different avenues of our life. And when we put it together it was good. But this last summer I actually got the chance to see the whole thing all together and actually participate with Hiro in the Game of Life. But Guy and I actually took the class. I mean, Hiro added an enormous amount of information that is really perfect for who he is cause he’s an absolutely fantastic businessman. And as we sat down and started taking this we knew it was divinely inspired. Guy and I both took the class and it changed my, my work significantly. It changed it so completely, um, the worry of trying to get to each thing, and it was, just was gone. It increased our abundance amazingly… And so, we decided to incorporate the game of life into one of the actual visual ThetaHealing classes at the institute.”

Got it.

It’s pretty clear why The Game of Life was important for Vianna and her “abundance.” Someone else invented a class, had to include her lest they got sued like Trisha Howell did when she tried to come up with her own courses, so Vianna’s “abundance” magically increases by taking some of the proceeds of this newly built theta course. Nice! I’d say that some good manifesting skills put to use.

Vianna gets more cash in her pocket. But for the rest of humanity, it’s still an utter waste of cash.

It's more fun to flush money down the toilet than to pretend you're spending it on something of value in ThetaHealing's new course, "The Game of Life"

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